Lately I've come to realise that my relationship with food is not as healthy as I think it ought to be. As a teenager I was dreadfully skinny. I could eat anything I wanted and never gain a pound. But times passes and bodies change and as a result so too has my relationship with food.
It really snuck up on me; I think that I allowed this destructive relationship go unnoticed purely because it is so very common, often expected, of women in our society. It's a very Western view, one that I certainly did not maintain as a teenager. When I could eat what I wanted, I naturally
never associated any guilt or desperate desire or other negative feelings with any foods. I ate what I liked and I ate as much as I liked.
Now though, I have noticed a more destructive pattern has emerged over the last few years. My relationship with food has shifted from something reasonable and healthy to one that is wrought with anxiety and, often, guilt. I have adopted, perhaps not to the same dangerous extent as some, the mindset of women in Western society, in particular, who are concerned with their body image.
We seem to be encouraged to
'naughty foods'
We've come to categorise foods like Santa's Christmas list.
The kind of relationship I'm talking about is one where:
- Foods are categorised like Santa's Christmas list: there are the 'good' foods and the 'naughty' foods and seemingly no grey area in between.
- Food serves purposes other than sustenance, such as for comfort or reward or an aide to boredom
- A whole lot of emotional baggage, especially guilt, is associated with eating particular foods
- One participates in an absurd bargaining system to validate unwise food choices
I looked unhealthily thin back then, so I don't now look back on my younger, more slender body with sadness or longing, but I
have realised recently that I miss my old relationship with food.
I use food to treat myself, I treat sweet food as 'naughty food' and bargain with myself about what I can and can't have and when.
I'm beginning to wonder what begat what. Do I treat food differently because my body started to, or has my body mass begun to fluctuate as a result of my worsened relationship with my diet? When I could eat whatever I like, I'm not us that I actually ate so much. I nev er worried about food. He'll, I never really gave it much thought. I enjoyed it when I had it and I continued with my day. But I've started to associate food with anxiety. I no longer have to go hours until school will let me eat my lunch. At the first sign of hunger (or boredom), I head to the fridge.
1. Set the table.
One thing that really stood out for me is that without a set lunch time I no longer take time to enjoy my food. I eat in front of the computer while writing or at the by least, reading my RSS feed. Time spent enjoying food is not time wasted, and I want to make us that I take at least half an hour to sit and focus solely on enjoying my food, eating it slowly and savouring each bite.
2. Give up on the guilt.
Naughty foods seem so much more enticing than they end up being. You always want what you can't have, but you can't enjoy it because it gives you that guilty feeling in your gut. What's the point?
3. Let yourself be hungry
Create rituals around meal times that you look forward to. Stop snacking because it will ruin your appetite and is a product of our ridiculous societal idea that we must be doing something at all times or else were lazy or unproductive.
4.
